"I have died every day waiting for you.
Darling, don't be afraid I have loved you,
For a thousand years
I'll love you for a thousand more." - A Thousand Years by Christina Perry 📸: @1000wordsnh | DJ: Joey Dion | Venue: Castleton | Wedding of: Nikki & Tim
While an undergraduate at Brown University in 1974, I spent the summer in between my junior and senior years in Providence, Rhode Island, where the college is located, sharing a rented 3 story old New England house with 6 fraternity brothers. We worked several different jobs to be able to afford that experience, including passing ourselves off as experienced house painters to secure a gig painting the Narragansett Pier (we were fired after a day or two) and digging for clams in the Narragansett Bay. At that point, I wasn’t yet willing to admit to myself, much less anyone else, that I was gay, even though I couldn’t rid myself of my attraction to other men. I was secretly in love with a fraternity brother who was not with us that summer (I admitted it to him a couple of years after my crush had ended and I’d come out; he was very supportive.) and had a crush from a safe distance on a member of the school’s varsity hockey team. My third floor garret in our rented house was our “party room” that summer. We convened there nightly, smoking marijuana & listening to the Allman Brothers & other rock bands of the day. Late one night, my brothers filtered out of the room one by one, until only one remained, passed out on my bed. I tried to rouse him, having no luck. I finally climbed in my single bed next to him, preparing to fall asleep, myself, when he muttered “You can do anything you want”. He was offering me the chance to have sex with him. I was stunned. I also wasn’t prepared to risk anyone knowing my secret in the light of the next day. If he’d been the brother I was in love with, I’d gladly have taken advantage of the opportunity, despite the risk, but he wasn’t. So, I did nothing. As far as I know, that moment was an aberration in his life, as he’s married with kids now, but who knows what his interior life is like. The point is that sexual desire is a multifaceted drive, which societal pressures (certainly back then) haven’t always enabled us to explore fully. This photo of me was taken at Horseneck Beach State Park across the nearby Massachusetts state line the summer in question (July 1973) when I still had a full head of long luxurious hair. #35mm
#cranberries#doloresoriordan ! The song was an important song for me in my transition from #california back to #Massachusetts! It's so heavy when someone leaves us and dies ...a strange void! I have made peace with the notion that we all have to leave when are clock stops ticking! I am facing it daily with my sweet Hana #cat suffering from cancer! I don't leave her side! I have canceled trips and I have people over instead of heading out to meet because in these last breaths, hours, days or months left she WANTS ME here! Hold your sweet life in your hands and don't grieve the small stuff! #realtalk#realtalk💯